Jessy Delfino's Blog |
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Click here to BUY MY CD. That's the very same CD glowingly reviewed by famed writer Byron Coley, and Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth, in a recent issue of Arthur Magazine. Thursday, May 08, 2008
Delfino on Fox News's Red Eye -- VIDEO CLIP!!
Here I am chatting about my main man Steve King and his recent comments about how if you can't read you can't do anything but join the army. We all know that's simply not true. There are plenty of grocery store jobs and gigs holding the slow signs at construction sites out there. Those of you who know and love me may recall I'm from Maine, so that only adds to the special kindred connection that I have with Mr. King. Interestingly, I am reading his book, "On Writing" right now, and it's so good it's real good. Let's hear what other enthralling, enlightening tidbits I have to say on the Stephen King / CNN topic. Dish, dish, dish! DELFINO ON KING PS -- I got to play a segment of my rape whistle song on the show!!! Repeat: I GOT TO PLAY A SEGMENT OF MY RAPE WHISTLE SONG ON THE SHOW!!! Wednesday, May 07, 2008
JESSICA DELFINO TO SING "DON'T RAPE ME" ON FOX NEWS!!!
Holy shit! You read right! Correctly? Right? Both! I am going to be singing my celebrated rape whistle ditty entitled, "Don't Rape Me" tonight during a taping of Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld (jew?) and I cizzy can't wait!! The show will air tomorrow, Thursday at 3 AM, hence the title, Red Eye. Your eyes will hopefully be red with laughter at my hilarious hi-jinx, if not from exhaustion, if I don't fuck it up, that is. It seems kind of inappropriate that I, Jessica Delfino, will be appearing on a Fox broadcast considering I'm probably thought of as a total lib, but I'm ready for it. I hope they're ready for ME, Jessica Delfino, the Courtney Love of comedy. Oddly though, I'd say I'm actually more of a strange concoction of liberal with conservative icing in places you wouldn't expect. So don't forget to tune your dials to Fox News at 3 AM so you can dance to my rockin' rape classic before hitting beddy bye. Friday, May 02, 2008
Delfino Update, May 2008, Greetings from Planet Delfino!
Well, hello, world. While you are all sleeping (or perhaps, very sadly, just waking up or having been up for the better part of an hour getting ready to go to your jobby job -- dear god I hope you're getting paid what you're worth!!) I am sitting here at this lovely Florida-based countertop, type-ity type typing away for you to read later. Maybe from said job. What's going on in my life, you ask? Well, dear reader, thank you for asking. A lot is going on. I have a new CD which I've been toiling over for the better part of a year, and it is almost DONE. And I can't wait. One thing I've learned working in a studio recording a CD is that I kind of hate working in a studio recording a CD. I rather prefer performing live. I mean, don't get me wrong. I can't think of a better way to spend my days than making music all day every day. But it's been a real lot of work. Like, a whole big bag of it. I was recording for awhile at Hotbed Studio in Greenpoint but I wasn't happy with the way the CD was sounding. So I then moved to a new studio in Bushwick and started working with producer Misha Volf, who has been a real ray of sunshine in my life, and I'm putting my sassy sarcastic wit and ways on hold to really seriously insist that last sentiment is true. I've whole-heartedly enjoyed working with Misha, though he does bust my balls a little, and I recommend him to anyone who wants their CD to sound like a bajillion bucks for a mere fraction of that price. I've gotta give a shout out to Ben Lerman for recommending Misha to me. He also did some recordings for Ben Lerman and he made Ben sound like Ella Fitzgerald with a sex change. In a good way. I'm going to be having a CD release party on June 18th at Cakeshop at 9 PM with Dame Darcy playing her sea shanties and celebrating her birthday, as well as a few other guests who I will name later. I do hope you can make it. It's gonna be awesome, and I'm not just throwing that word around lightly. When I say awesome, I fucking god damn mean it. In other news -- I am producing a new monthly show called Naughty Nautical Nite at The Slipper Room with a little help from my friends. Dame Darcy and I host the show together and provide a slew of amazing performers singing nautical themed songs, telling nautical themed jokes and doing nautical themed things. It's ocean-a-riffic! The next show is May 22nd at 8:30 PM. It's the Fleet Week episode, so don your sailor duds and dig out your old mermaid fin, slap it on and walk, run, swim, surf, skip or skate on over. It's the most fun you can have while listening to Carribean Queen by Billy Ocean. The last show had 120 or more people in attendance and the show ROCKED raucous. It was something ELSE, I tell you. I've been working with Make Music NY as a coordinator and it's been keeping me really busy. It's a great idea -- the concept is that there are musicians performing all over NYC, literally "in the streets" and lots of various "non-traditional" performance spaces, such as sidewalks, parks, rooftops and any where else that is out of doors. May 1st was technically the deadline to sign up but if you visit the website www.timeoutnewyork.com/makemusicny, you might still be able to register. I'll be performing my MMNY live outdoor performance in the Marble Cemetery at 2nd and 2nd -- a high tea in the cemetery with my Naughty Nautical crew. Bring your dolls and picnic blanket. Bring grandma and the kids. It's gonna be a mighty fine time. 4 - 8 PM, June 21st. Here is a photo of my friend Michael Iannantuono (Michael I for short, aka Dr. Anchovy of "The Pizzas") and I hanging out with Suzanne Vega at the French Embassy for a Make Music NY fundraiser / party last week. I look like I just broke out of the hot women's hot ward. Where I had won an award. For being hot. Just kidding. I don't look THAT hot. But if you look very closely, you can see a little nip. True story!  What else, what else!?? My mom turned 50 today, well, technically yesterday, now, on May 1st. That's why I'm in Florida. Because that's where she lives, alongside weird birds, strange reptilian hind-brain creatures, bugs with human sized heads and eyes and more ex-cons per capita than a NAMBLA convention. Congratulations, mom. Thanks for being birthed and then for birthing me, too. The sun is rising and that means I have to go back to bed for an hour or three. Happy Friday, world! Wednesday, April 02, 2008
COME TO NAUGHTY NAUTICAL NIGHT # 2!!
TOMORROW, Thursday, April 3rd NYC 8:30 PM doors  I heard we were supposed to have a Voice Choice in this week's Village Voice...did it happen? Naughty Nautical Night #2 Thursday, April 3rd An ocean-themed cabaret and dance party, hosted by the delectable witch comic book illustrator Dame Darcy and America's first lady of dirty folk ditties, Ms. Jessica Delfino. This show features a variety of weird performances by Dame Darcy, Jessica Delfino, Magin Schantz, uke-ist of the high seas Ben Lerman, electronic beach jamzz by Adira Amram, hot sailors, a vast assortment of sexy mermaid babes including burlesque featuring Victoria Kuper and friends, Margot Leitman enlightens us with a tale of the briny sea, belly dancing babes, Diane O'Debra will jolly roger the place up, house band Anchor Panky rocks the boat, DJ Kai keeps the tide high, fun surprises and treats for best sea-themed costumes (so come all dolled up pirate / sailor / sea-theme style) a board walk carnival where wares shall be hocked, really strange ocean themed drinks, damn, even puppets by Jared Whitcomb. It's like a children's show on acid, and not that junky acid that hurts your back, the real good shit that is so fresh and clean and when you wake up the next morning, it's like it was all a dream. On the last episode of NNN, Dame Darcy was being played by a very sexy male impostor who pretended to be her. Darcy was helpless to attend because she was under a spell cast on her by an evil demon known only as "the city of LA." But the sea witch hag broke the spell and now Darcy is back, for reals, to co-host NNN with zest and glee! We've got some real treats planned for ya, so don't be all, yeah! And then be all, whatever! Slipper Room 167 Orchard Street, Manhattan 8p doors, 9p show, midnight dancing; $5 http://www.myspace.com/jessydelfino http://www.damedarcy.com Saturday, March 22, 2008
 Cute picture! By Simon Chung. It was taken at the Book Club Cabaret Show, "Disappear Here", an awesome show based on the book of the month, which was Less Than Zero by Brett Easton Ellis. The next one will be about Siddharta by Herman Hess. If you'd like to come, email me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com and I'll let ya know when the time is time. In other news, Easter is on Sunday. I'm not really religious, but I am Italian, and it is my culture and my upbringing to really like to eat chocolate and food and candy and eggs and especially deviled eggs. Mmmmm. I'm going to a party in a huge loft space in Brooklyn that my friend has lived in for 15 years. It's an amazing place and I wish that my friend was your friend so that you could go, too. Maybe she is, to some of you. I'm gearing up for the big Thursday, April 3rd Naughty Nautical Night show, planning some big surprises and other dumb shit to knock your socks up into your asses. Hope you can make it! Wednesday, March 19, 2008
DELFINO'S DIATRIBE -- MID-MARCH EDITION 2008
GOINGS ON for MARCH and APRIL TONIGHT!! Wed. March 19th Check out Rasp Thorne's show at DON PEDRO'S in BROOKLYN, 90 Manhattan Ave between Boerum and McGibbons. 10:00 PM on. Late fun on a Wednesday night! Rasp is awesome. I'll be doing a set with a BACKING BAND! No, shit! Delfino's Doing Brooklyn AGAIN and AGAIN!! If you can't catch tonight's show, come see me Monday, March 24th at THE OTTOMAN LOUNGE 318 Grand St @ Havemeyer, 10 PM, at the TROUBADOO show. And if you miss that one, there's always my TWO FRIDAYS IN APRIL: APRIL 11th and APRIL 25th shows @ Goodbye Blue Monday The coolest place in the world, seriously. also performing: Dame Darcy 8 to 9 PM, SHARP. 8:00 Dame Darcy 9 PM Me, Jessica Delfino I even wrote about Goodbye Blue Monday on my blog: www.jessydelfino.blogspot.com And... THE NEXT Naughty Nautical Night is at THE SLIPPER ROOM on Thursday, April 3rd. Doors at 8, Show at 9. With THE REAL LIVE DAME DARCY as co-host and co-hort. That's right! And... Jessica Delfino will be in BOSTON on APRIL 9th with STRIPPED STORIES, Giulia Rozzi and Margot Leitman. Check it out! www.strippedstories.com And... Naughty Nautical Night is seeking sexy sailor, siren and sea themed acts for the May "FLEET WEEK" show. If you are a sexy lad or lass and want to shake that a$$ or do some creative kind of musical act or set up a carnival booth / table or event (for example, spank the pirate wench) for the Navy boys NNN show, email me ASAP at jessdelfino@yahoo.com. And... My album's release date is MAY 1st...!!!! A New England tour is to follow in June and stufffff. And... Dame Darcy is back in NYC. We'll be doing a REDUX Double D rock show (The Dame and The Delfino) at Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery, April 4th along with some other kooky musical acts. MIDNIGHT. Write that shit down! And... Delfino is on WIKIPEDIA!! www. wikipedia. com/wiki/jessica_delfino And... If you are a drum machine expert, a small drum pad whiz, or play some kind of kooky electronic percussion, please get in touch with me IMMEDIATELY because I want you to play on my CD and in my musical comedy rock shows. jessdelfino@yahoo.com FINALLY... My mom is turning 50 on May 1st. Don't have a poem? Just like to send cards? Think this could be a fun little distraction from your normal life activities? All good reasons to write her a birthday poem, draw her a picture, send a post card from your city, or send her a card, c/o me. You can send all my mom's birthday cards to: Happy Birthday Mom c/o Jessica Delfino 77 Allen St. #6B NY, NY 10002 I thought it'd be fun to give her a ton of awesome cards from strangers all over the world so send it SOON!!! Thanks and love and other shit, too! Truly, Jessica Delfino xoxo
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY...
...the coolest "junk shop" in all the land? If not, jump on the JMZ and get off at the Jefferson stop. You might get a little scared, the neighborhood is still "New York-y". But a few blocks down, there it is -- a mecca for talented unknowns. A haven for pretty Brooklynites and people from other boroughs bold enough to brave the public transportation system. An oasis for the thirsty, the strange, and the cool. My favorite hang in NYC. This place is a coffee shop, music venue and neighborhood joint featuring thrift-store chic / victorian / era-gone-by decor and a vibe so comfortable, cozy and lovely the only other place I've ever felt it was at my grandmother's house. If I describe your business or home as "like my grandmother's house" that is the utmost highest compliment that I can give. Congratulations, GBM, for being so fucking god damn awesome. I'll be performing there April 11th and 25th with my band. Come check this amazing magical way out place out. And be their friends!!! http://www.myspace.com/goodbyebluemondayinc Saturday, March 08, 2008
Read all about my victory at the amazing Arlene's Gong Show in that old rag, NY PRESS
Then, lucky for me and all of you, there was this other article link on the same page as the above about Tim Minchin, my only "celebrity" crush...the article wasn't too informative because the journalist made a mistake with his tape recorder so he didn't actually record the interview, but Tim Minchin should be a super star the proportions of Billy Joel within, oh, about five minutes. And here's an art exhibit that might very well get the Catholic League's dirty panties all scrunchy and frothing: The Assassination of Barack and Hillary Due to the sensitive nature of this exhibit, on-lookers must set up appointments to see the work. Cool! Did you miss Naughty Nautical Night at The Slipper Room? Naughty, naughty and you suck. But fret not. The next NNN is on April 3rd and that is just around the corner. This nautical themed cabaret show was hosted by myself and "Dame Darcy". Second mates wanted!! If you have a nautical themed act or just want to dress up like a sailor or a pirate, let these bitches know... Pictured here: Stage Manager Wendi The Pirate Wench and "Dame Darcy" (Adam Lerman) get ready to practice sapphic love back stage  This strapping young med student takes a break from driving his yacht to stop in to the NNN  First (band) mate Patrick gets ready to squeak out some serious Popeye riffs for the adoring audience  Stage Manager Wendi The Pirate Wench and Dame Darcy (Adam Lerman) get ready to go backstage and practice sapphic love  See those curvaceous hips and plush thighs? Thank you, fish and chips |
