Delicious Home-Made Faux-Meat Shepherd's Pie Recipe

This is inspired by a blurb I dropped on Facebook which resulted in part is it cool to be vegetarian-or-not debate, part goof-off, part cooking chat. One person inquired about my recipe, so here it is.

It's a good recipe. I love Shepherd's pie and it's one thing I miss, being a vegetarian, but the alternative I came up with makes
a great second choice and satisfies my cravings.

If you've never had Shepherd's Pie before, it's basically a mashed potatoes, meat and corn lasagna-type or casserole kind of dish. Layers of yum.

I make a very, very simple Shepherd's Pie. I use home-made mashed potatoes made from new red potatoes as the crust.

Basically, I start by washing the potatoes well and cutting them into quarters, leaving the skin on. I put them in a large pot of boiling water. While they are boiling, I get to work on the "meat". Since I don't eat meat, I instead either use Morning Star fake meat crumbles which are wicked fuckin' good, or I get canned fake duck from my local faux-dega (chinese corner store). I get 2 cans at about $1.40 a pop. The duck has to be cooked separately in its' own pan, first. I drain the water and cut it up into smaller pieces, then dump it in the pan with a little olive oil, a little brown sugar, a little salt and pepper and squeeze o lemon. I let it fry up for awhile until it's brown and crispy. By then, the potatoes are boiled, so I drain the water out of those and mash 'em up, adding a little rice milk (I don't drink straight cow boob juice, though I can't abandon cheese just yet), a little salt, a few tablespoons of olive oil, and tons of fresh ground pepper.

Next, I get out the ol' rectangular lasagna pan, though a round or square one will do just fine! I line the pan with mashed potatoes like I'm making a pie crust. I then put the duck down on the bottom of the pie layer. I add a thick layer of nuts -- almonds do okay, walnuts, or mixed crumbled nuts. Peanuts suck and I try to never, ever eat them whole or in pieces, under any circumstances (though I can't get enough peanut butter, reeses pieces, peanut butter m&ms, peanut butter cookies or brownies, etc. I also love peanut sauce used in thai cooking, but McDonald's sundaes with peanuts can go take a flying fuck, and in general I try to never, ever eat at McDonalds) but they'll work for this if that's all you have or if you love them.

Next, on top of the mashed potatoes, fake duck or Morning Star crumbles and nuts, I add a handful of cheese, sprinkled on so it will melt down and into the yummy goodness. I cover the bastard up with a final layer of mashed potatoes, sprinkle some more fresh ground pepper on top of that bitch and stick in the oven to bake for about half an hour at 350 degrees.

While it's baking, I make up a pitcher of pineapple margaritas or extra filthy dirty olive martinis and I drink a tasty cold beverage while I'm waiting for dinner to finish.

Huzzah!

UK TOUR DATES ANNOUNCED and SKITS'N'TITS LINE UP

THIS WED, July 8th: Walk, don't run for the July version of Skits'N'Tits! We've pulled out all the plugger thingies for this episode, and are going to knock your socks off your feet and onto your hands with this killer line up:

Carla Rhodes, Laura Kraft, Chi-Ciones, Joe Pera, Rev Jen, Dominique Trixx, Ben Lerman, Mike Amato, Flambeaux and Tigers and Monkeys! As always, new videos and sketches by Steph, Diane and Jess -- the FFF's. (What does FFF mean? You tell us!)

In ADDITION, the 7/8 show is sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon and so there will be FREE BEER starting at midnight (so come and see Tigers and Monkeys play at midnight and get FREE BEER.) And there will also be a BRAND NEW BIKE GIVEAWAY. Holy newports.

Who loves ya, baby?

And I'm very excited to officially announce my UK TOUR DATES!

July 16-19
Latitude Festival,
showing "The Best of Dirty Folk Rock"
Fri, July 17: Indie Ghetto @ 10 PM, Film & Music Tent
Sat, July 18: Poetry Stage
Sat, July 19: Comedy Stage
Tickets: www.latitudefestival.com



July 21-25:
Soho Theatre,
21 Dean St. London,
10 PM nightly
showing "MORE Dirty Folk Rock"
with special guest NYC comedian Jena Friedman
(only full screening of this show in UK)
Tickets: www.sohotheatre.com

July 24:
Offline Rock / Comedy Show
showing a selection from "MORE Dirty Folk Rock"
midnight @ Prince Albert Pub,
with special guest John Hegley
Brixton, UK
For more info, email: mike@u75.org

Aug 1:
Duckie!
Battersea, London
showing "The Best of Dirty Folk Rock"
Tickets: www.duckie.co.uk



Aug 6-25:
Edinburgh, Scotland's EdFringe Festival
Jekyll and Hyde, 112 Hanover St. Midlothian
showing: "I Wanna Be Famous"
For more info: Check back to jessydelfino.blogspot.com in early August (or you can subscribe for free email notifications!)

Aug 26:
Roisin Dubh
Galway, Ireland,
showing "The Best of Dirty Folk Rock"
For more info: Check back to jessydelfino.blogspot.com in early August (or you can subscribe for free email notifications!)

Aug 28-30:
Reading Festival July 29
Leeds Festival July 30
showing "The Best of Dirty Folk Rock"
Tickets:
www.readingfestival.com
www.leedsfestival.com

Sept:
Check back for homecoming show / party information!

FOR PRESS INQUIRIES, press photos or press releases for shows, please contact:
Jennifer Hanson
Gimme Media
gimmemedia@gmail.com

BIG PRESS WEEK FOR DELFINES

I was very ecstatic after feeling like the least famous person (like an old sausage) on the panel
at Match Game Live last Sunday alongside such stars as Judy Gold, Michael Musto, Frank DeCaro,
Hannibal Burress and Becky Donohue -- to have a friend approach me with not one, but TWO
magazines featuring -- that's right -- ME!

First, I was honored to be included in the cover story of City Scoops Magazine:



Photo Credit -- Jessica Delfino as Bilge Baron by Crystal Selbee

Next, I was delighted (and honored too) to be part of this triad story in CLAM Magazine (it's really almost TOO fitting of a magazine for me!)







Top it off with a SWEET little article in Digital City written by the super fab Corn Mo, it's shaping up as
a pretty fat week of press, and it's not even Wednesday yet.



As you can possibly imagine, it's not EASY to get any press up in this bitch of a world. So it felt
pretty super awesome to see these pieces.

Thanks to Corn Mo, Larry Getlin and Ghurron Briscoe.

xs and os,
Jessica

PS -- Whatcha doin Sun July 5 (day after July 4?)
Come see my run through of my Scotland show, "I Wanna Be Famous"
at Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery, 6 pm (early show)
$5! Free yummy baked goods (last time it was cocoa banana cake) and
please stay after for a Q&A and fill out a customer service form with your
feedback about the show.

And don't forget Skits'N'Tits, Wed, July 8, 10 PM with FREE PBR at 12-12:30 am!!!! What? Yes!!!

THIS AFTERNOON: FREE OUTDOOR FUN!!

Thompkins Square Park -- Attack of the Alpha Women!
@ Thompkins Square Park, 7th and Ave A (listen for noises of music and fun, locate large stage)

2:00 - 2:05: Opening remarks: Our Lady of PPMS (me)
2:05 - 2:20: KILLER KILLY (subsersive-comedic songs)
2:20 - 2:35: MICHELLE LEONA: (haunting and horny accordian songs)
2:35 - 2:45: RACHEL CLEARY: (political storyteller)
2:45 - 2:50: SARAH B. (punk teen poet sensation)
2:50 - 3:05: ROSIE REBEL: (showcases her bra inventions...on roller skates!)
3:05 - 3:15: JENNIFER BLOWDRYER: (LES writer)
3:15 - 3:25: JERIN ALAM: (speaker - Women's Rights Coalition)
3:25 - 3:50: NEOANGIN: (one man electronics-gone-mad-art band from Berlin w/paintings & masks www.neoangin.info)
3:50 - 4:10: JESSICA DELFINO: (raunchy, insurgent rock & folk)
4:10 - 4:35: RACHEL TRACHTENBURG AND THE OH MY GOD GIRLS:
(debut of the Teen Girl Indie Pop-Rock Players!)
LONE VEIN 4:35 - 5:00: (Day of The Dead-inspired gloom tunes www.lonevein.com)
RUBBER ROOM RATS 5:00 - 5:30: (Female-fronted freaky post-punk www.myspace.com/rubberroomrats)
DETHRACE 5:30 - 6:00: (a theatrical art rock experience...10 ft. tall fiberglass super-robots, playing 666 volts of metal! www.myspace.com/dethracemf)

LATER: PRIDE MEETS THE STREETS
61 E. 4th St. (again, listen for noises of music and fun, locate large stage)

3-3:30PM Decibel [Josh Weinstein]
3:30-3:45PM Geographical History of America [Randi Rivera]
3:45-4PM Ms. Sarah Palin
4-4:15PM Erin Markey and the Free Liquor and a Place to Sleepettes
4:15-4:30PM BREAK
4:30-4:45PM V-Love [Scout Durwood]
4:45-5:00PM Dred [Mildred Gerestant]
5:00-5:45PM Tongue in Public [Erik Simon]
5:45-6:15PM Diane O’Debra
6:15-6:30PM Ben Lerman
6:30-6:45PM Jessica Delfino
7PM Event ends

Phun Times in Philadelphia

Every time I go to Philly I have a good time. I did a show there on Thursday night. It was
an "all Edgar Allen Poe" themed show, with "Edgar Allen Poe" taking questions and reading
some of his poems, a 10 year old kid told the poem of the Raven with a big cardboard cut out
of a backdrop which 'killed', (I was kinda scared to follow her), Dame Darcy hosted and sang
her murder ballads and sea shantees on her banjo, a haunted witch band "Goddess" sang a
few numbers, a scholarly writer guy talked about how Poe actually belonged in Philadelphia,
and then I went up and knocked it out of the park with a few funny songs about the sorrows of love
and life. (Believe it or not, sorrow can be funny!)

Some of the highlights of the trip:

Darcy had a doll making workshop at the Latvian Society, so I jumped on the Megabus (awesome
bus with free wifi, $5-$8, sometimes $1 tickets!) at 2 and by 4 was sitting in front of clay and ribbon.
In the workshop was a really sweet girl named Becky who had a tea shop around the corner. She
invited Darcy and I over for tea, and I wasn't really sure what to expect when she said "I have a
tea shop in my living room". But it was an interesting enough statement for me to want to check
it out. We rolled up after getting a ride from a nice Latvian named Didzis, and strolled in with our
mouths dropped open. It was a beautiful little shop in a building she had purchased and remodeled
herself with the help of friends. The tea shop contained all kinds of cute little antiques and odds and
ends, including chess set tables and very cozy chairs. She made us some fresh Chai from scratch
that was literally the best Chai I've ever tasted, which we sipped in lovely dark mugs while her cute pooch
watched, napped and guarded the fort.


The Random Tea Room & Curiosity Shop and Becky

We couldn't stay for long, though, because my
Philadelphia Fan Club President Mike arrived shortly thereafter to whisk us away to dinner. He took
us to Horizons, a mid-fancy vegetarian joint on S. 7th Street. We ate a super delicious meal and then
went back to the show.

The show was fun and strange, highlights for me were Darcy dressed as a mermaid playing her Sea
Shantees and accidentally running into an old friend I met in Scotland named Mavi, who looked great and is so
much fun. I also really enjoyed meeting Laris, the guy who put the show together, he was really sweet.
And I had a great time bullshitting with Mike, my Philly Chapter fan club president. He's the best
fan club prez a girl could ever ask for.


Poe Show Stage


Phun times in Philadelphia
Darcy dressed as a mermaid, watching the show

I got off stage and ran out the door to catch my bus back to Philly, which I made just before it tore down
the highway.

Buses. Running. Shows with strange themes. Ahhhh the life of a performer.

TONIGHT's FUN GIG

super duper FREE show:
BEN and JESSICA are BESTIES IN LOVE
@ Sidewalk Cafe, Ave A at 7th St.
8 PM

An hour of Ben and Jessica trading songs, jokes and war stories.
If you've never seen Bessica perform before, this is a DO*NOT*MISS
show. The two of them have the passion of lovers and the comedy timing
of angry lovers, and are in love, but Ben is gay and Jessica only dresses
like a gay man.

Plus, look at the picture Ben made for the show -- unbelievable! Someone
come tonight and buy that man a beer.

POP CULTURE CORNER

If you haven't heard yet, duuuhhhh, the king of pop, Michael Jackson
has died. I have some theories about it (some of which involve conspiracies, hooray!)
but I won't get into them right now. Instead, I'll leave this topic for the other 50,000
carnivorous comedians to tear it apart! I'm a vegetarian. I try not to devour the remains
of the dead.

Though there are some who believe that he may have "jacked" to your "son" (I couldn't help it)
I don't believe it. Again, I have theories that I won't get into. I think he was the one who was jacked. I think his whole life was really sad. The only funny part to me are the tween girls all over the world who will be doing seances, hoping that the man in the mirror they conjure up, is in fact, Michael Jackson. (Hint: It's not. MJ wouldn't hang around with you when he was alive, and he won't be now that he's gone.)

It's also really gotten into my psyche, and got me thinking about my own mortality, and the toll that being a performer / dancing monkey has on your body and mind. I'm sure the many surgeries and drugs didn't help matters, either. And I believe he was probably realllly depressed and sad, which I truly believe will kill you quicker than anything else.

Rest In Peace, MJ.

And poor Farrah Faucet, the beautiful feathered haired actress who died of cancer. Did the press really have to share the "anal" part of her cancer so enthusiastically? Wouldn't it have just been enough to say, "She died of cancer" ? Did they really have to explain what part she had cancer in? Why drag her ass through the mud? The press has no class. It also really boggles me that a woman got anal cancer. It makes me wonder what she was doing in her free time, though I think that many kinds of cancers are hereditary. Poor Farrah! Poor MJ! Heaven help this world! Ahhhhghghhshhdhh!

SHOWS! SHOWS! SHOWS!

The rest of this week features two "out of town" shows including rare appearances in Staten Island and Philadelphia. So zip on over in your zip car and let's do this.

Wed, June 24th
2nd Annual Staten Island Comedy Festival
The Bistro on Hylan Blvd
with Yannis Pappas and Mad Dog
Bistro Restaurant - www.bistro2000.com
2561 Hylan Blvd, Staten Island - (718) 987-1700

Thursday, June 25th
Latvian Society
531 N. 7th St.
Philadelphia, PA
Murder Ballads, Shanties, and other Poe-etics featuring Dame Darcy & Ben Smiley, Jessica Delfino, Helen McKenna-Uff, Fern Knight, Yellow Humphrey - Latvian Society (7th & Spring Garden), Philadelphia, PA
More Info Here

Friday, June 26th
Ben and Jessica are Besties In Love
8 PM
Sidewalk Cafe
@ corner of 7th St. and Ave A
NY, NY
Bessica do an hour of songs, jokes and comedy, just the way you like it -- well done!

Run through of "MORE Dirty Folk Rock -- Dirtier, Folkier, Rockier" TONITE

6 PM
308 Bowery
$5

Come on by and play "director" for an hour -- come to the run through
of my show, eat some free brownies, see Jena Friedman open the show
(she's funny!) and give me your feedback!

TONITE'S SHOWS!!

Hump day is a good day for Delfino fun...

The Pit Theater
7:30 PM
with Micah Sherman and others!!

Rodeo Bar
8:30 PM
with Matt Maragno and others!!

SUPER SWEET REVIEW of skits'n'tits

Check it out HERE

Don't forget to catch the NEXT skits'n'tits on WED JULY 8 at 10 PM. That show will feature lots of burlesque from Dominatrixxx and others, rock band Tigers and Monkeys fronted by the SHAC show's Shonali, That's the last one before I, Ms. Delfino, departs for the U.K. for a little sojourn. But don't cry -- Diane and Steph will hold down the fort for Aug!

PS -- Here's something fun to watch -- it features me on my rape whistle with Chris "Shockwave" Sullivan in Union Square. Enjoy!

GOOD NEWS FOR TALLSIES

Arienne Cohen finally went and did it -- and by it, I mean published a book for tall people. She, 6'3", has lots to say on the topic. A writer for New York Magazine, NY Times and more, Arienne is a witty words-lady and she knows what she's doing. So if you're tall or have a tallie in your life, treat them to some high times, and purchase The Tall Book: A Celebration of Life From On High. The book is now available at Amazon.com:

http://www.amazon.com/Tall-Book-Celebration-Life-High/dp/1596913088

From an email from Arienne:

"Here's a little update: Yesterday I went on the CBS Early Show, and you can see the clip of me talking tall here:
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=5074749n

Publisher's Weekly put up the first review here: http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6660208.html?industryid=47159

And the book will be in People magazine this coming week (June 22 issue)! So far, so good. It will be in bookstores June 16th. Thanks so much for your support."

Good luck to Arienne from one tall mama (I'm 5'9", not quite as tall as Arienne) to another...

THIS is almost too upsetting to read

I love my cute adorable kitty Miss Puss who some of you may recall from her supporting roles in "Jessica's Chest Of Treasures".
So I was super troubled to read this article about a teen who was arrested for mutilating pets. This article really hurts me in myriad ways, bc the teen they arrested is just as adorable as a kitten himself, and reminds me of one of my favorite adults who plays a teen on the big screen, and that's one Mr. Michael Cera.

Michael-Cera-resembling Florida teen, how could you do this? (If the (Florida) Keystone Cops actually indeed have the right person.) You're too cute to kill cats.

SHOWS TONITE!!!

Jessica Delfino SHOWS TONITE, FRIDAY JUNE 12

Northside Festival at Jack The Pelican, 487 Driggs, btw. N. 9/N.10. Williamsburg, BKLN. FREE. Jessica Delfino performs at 5 PM. Other acts listed at: http://extremeNY.com

************

AND: Bloodwrestling Fest TONITE! Plus live music and activities. $10 suggested donation. Jessica Delfino performst at 8:30, along with Trachtenburgh Family Slideshow Players, Michelle Leona and MORE!
202 Rivington, no jerks allowed.

******************

AND: STREET MEAT!! 8 PM at CAKESHOP on Ludlow btw. Stanton and Rivington. with Heather Fink, Andrew W.K., Jessica Delfino as Gozar the Gozarian and more!!! $5

Hope to see you at one of the above locations!

Alcojuanicaine - watch more funny videos

Our new SKITS'N'TITS video is UP! We'd like to give a special thanks to our sponsors, Alcojuanicaine. Watch it on Funny or Die and vote Funny, or nothing will happen.

NEXT SKITS'N'TITS: Wed., July 8 -- be there!

WANTED: YOUR feedback!

Sat June 20 @ 6 PM sharp – one hour show – one night only! Introduction by Jena Friedman

308 Bowery btw. Houston and 1st St.

Though publicly denounced by the Catholic League, Youtube sensation Jessica Delfino’s show, “DIRTY FOLK ROCK” sold out during it’s 2009 London Soho Theatre run. Now, she returns to the UK with “MORE Dirty Folk Rock – Dirtier, Folkier, Rockier” and special guest NYC comedian Jena Friedman. Before Jessica leaves NYC, she’ll be pre-screening the show in its’ sole US appearance, and YOU are invited to this one-night-only event.

Enjoy free homemade goodies during the show and please stick around
to fill out a brief survey with your thoughts and feedback after the presentation.

ABOUT JESSICA AND THE SHOW: Jessica Delfino tells jokes, sings songs, and plays guitar, flying V ukulele, rape whistle, Q chord and more in this “one woman variety show”. In "MORE Dirty Folk Rock -- Dirtier, Folkier, Rockier", Jessica gets even more down and dirty, doing what she loves to do best. A sampling of what the press has said about Jessica’s performances:

"[A] comedy rock star. . . brilliant comedian/musician Jessy Delfino." --ComedyCentral.com

"Jessica Delfino has sang, danced, and comedianed her way to LES notoriety--some feat." --Time Out New York

"We were immediately stuck to our seats stunned and smiling as Jessica Delfino engaged us in tune after tune...She is funny. And smart." -- Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth) & Byron Coley, Arthur Magazine

"Critics' Choice...Supremely witty...smart and edgy...we've been playing this quirky New York songsters album 'I Wanna Be Famous' all week and can't wait to see her live." -- Time Out London

"The attractive and ballsy female comedian who grabbed the audience's attention from her entrance, Delfino has a way of making you hang on her every word” --The Portland [Maine] Phoenix

"A stirring show of ribald folk songs. There's more to this seriously talented comic songwriter than jokes...a tough show to top" -- London METRO

"High Times Unsigned Band of the Week" --High Times

See her full bio at: www.wikipedia.com/wiki/jessica_delfino

AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT SKITS'N'TITS THIS WED, JUNE 10!!!!

THE PROMISS OF LUV CAN BE YOURS

These little ladies sure know how to say "no you don't" -- that is, unless you're willing
to say "I do".

Watch, vote, share, bla bla bla, but most of all, enjoy the sweet ass purity of these ladies of Christ.

I Need A Ring (If Ya Wanna Do That Thing) - watch more funny videos

THIS IS NEWS

This is a video I made with a few friends a while back. I had so much fun making this video.
Notice how only I get beeped...

SAY MY NAME

My friend looked up my name and wrote to me telling me what it means.

I've always thought my name was hebrew, of biblical origin and meant "wealthy" (which is funny because I'm certainly anything but, however, I am wealthy in that I know how to do lots of crafts and play about a dozen instruments, so, who's wealthy now, Jesus?).

JESSICA
Gender: Feminine
Usage: English
Pronounced: JES-i-kə [key]
This name was first used in this form by Shakespeare in his play 'The Merchant of Venice' (1596), where it belongs to the daughter of Shylock. Shakespeare probably based it on the biblical name ISCAH which would have been spelled Jesca in his time. It was not commonly used as a given name until the middle of the 20th century.

Additionally, people of any kind of latino origin generally call me "Yessica", and people of any other kind of origin generally pronounce my name "Jennifer".

There are lots of Jessicas out there, and interestingly, even lots of other Jessica Delfinos. I meet another Jessica about once a week, and I meet another Jessica Delfino (usually via Facebook or Myspace) about once a month or so. One just friended me yesterday, and she spelled her name "Jessika". They all vaguely look like me -- dark hair, slender, cute girls. It's puzzling that I've never met a very short blonde Jessica Delfino or an obese african american Jessica Delfino, though, who knows, perhaps they're out there somewhere.

I started meeting lots of other Jessica Delfinos after Wil Wheaton (Wesley Crusher, Star Trek: The Next Generation) posted my lyrics for my song "Lullabye" on his blog. They just started climbing out of the woodwork, from Italy and New Mexico and all over the place. I even MET one -- she came to NYC and emailed me that she wanted to get a drink. I thought that sounded reasonable, so I met her and a friend, and she was very nice. We had a fun time chatting and drinking, and marveling over how similar our basic features were.

But of all the Jessica Delfinos out there, there's only ONE who plays the guitar, flying V ukulele, electronic autoharp q-chord, autoharp, singing saw, keyboardlette, mini drumset, rape whistle and tells jokes and makes videos and illustrates and that Jessica Delfino is ME!

JESSICA DELFINO EXCITING NEWS!

Greetings, Earthlings. I am writing with good news and bad news.

The good news is, I have quit working on Jessica's Chest of Treasures to focus full time on finishing my shows, "More Dirty Folk Rock" and "I Wanna Be Famous" which will show across the UK this July and August. The bad news is that all of the past episodes have been removed from Youtube by a force that was out of my hands, so those episodes are now lost, which makes them even more precious.

Deleted from Youtube again! When will "the man" learn that ya can't keep Delfino down? Hopefully never, as it just makes me work harder and try harder, and get more of a "bad gal" reputation. I try to reject it, but it just keeps chasing me down!

ABOUT MY NEW SHOWS:
"More Dirty Folk Rock" is basically like "Dirty Folk Rock", but will feature some older gems and some new hits, as well as my amazing new instrument, the Q-chord! It is like a haunted circular piano from an old 70s television show about the future. I love it and can't wait to regale Europe with it.

"I Wanna Be Famous" is about my brushes with near fame. As one writer put it:

"In “I Wanna Be Famous”, Delfino discusses “un-fame”, an interesting nook of celebrity she finds herself subject to. Known by a vast and growing number of web folk and even considered a household name to many people, Delfino finds herself rubbing elbows with A-listers, yet feeling just one little break away from true success."

That show will feature some old hits, some new songs and jokes and also stories and monologues, using my hand-drawn comic book style stories to illustrate some of my favorite "fame-like" ordeals, such as getting kicked out of Canada. I'm glad to have the opportunity to draw in my shows, I like drawing and wish I had markers for fingers. I don't get to do it as much as I'd like to any more.

The bad news is that I'm ONLY doing 3 shows this week! ha ha!!!

SHOWS THIS WEEK:

Delfino is coming to UPTOWN MANHATTAN TONITE!

TUESDAY (tonight)
Alison Grillo's JOKES N GENDER @ Underground Lounge
107th and West End Ave
showtime 7:30 PM sharp
ABOUT THE SHOW: Comedians ruminate on gender issues!

and tomorrow DELFINO DOES A DOUBLE DIP DOWNTOWN with 2 VERY COOL SHOWS:

WED (tomorrow)
Nick Ferris's REGRETS @ a gallery in Tribeca just 1 block south of Canal on Broadway
6:30 - 10 with an after party at Madame X
ABOUT THE SHOW: A mixture of photographic, short films, poetry and sculptures on the theme of Regrets.
with comedian Lori Chase, live models, DJ -- very different from your standard gallery opening, and
it's to raise money for charity. Visit www.nickandrani.com for more info.

AND...AND...THE AWESOME MONTHLY BUR-IETY SHOW I CO-PRODUCE with STEPH SABELLI AND DIANE O'DEBRA:
SKITS'N'TITS! @ Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery
10 PM, $5
ABOUT THE SHOW: This mad party is truly a whimsical delight! Comedians Murray Hill, Kevin Allison (The State), Seth Herzog and Mike Amato bemuse, hot burlesque dancers tantalize, and our sketch group "FFF" (or Funny Filthy Floozies) offers a new video and 2 new sketches, one about...dun-dun-dun...STAR TREK!

Don't miss ANY of these shows. Or you will get swine flu.

About My Grandfather

When I was just a little stinker, I spent a lot of time in my grandparents house in Tinton Falls, NJ. My grandfather was a sailor mouthed Italian man with a terrific sense of humor who spent his days humming old big band tunes and oil painting, re-creating the masters. My whole life I watched him paint Rembrandt's "The Night Watch" (which is a more popular name of Rembrandt's Company of Frans Banning Cocq and Willem van Ruytenburch in the Rijksmuseum). It was not finished when he passed away. I am trying to get my family to give it to me when it's time to find a new home for it, because I spent my whole life watching it get painted and I feel like it belongs to me, in a way.

My grandfather was the Salutatorian of his class, my grandmother was the Valedictorian of hers. They met in Ybor City, near Tampa, Florida during his Navy break, where all the soldiers are free to drink and chase skirts. According to the family legend, he fell in love immediately with my grandmother and didn't want to leave her after his break was over. He even actually literally "missed the boat" because he was spending time with my grandmother. The boat he was supposed to be on was attacked and everyone on board was killed. My great grandmother (who was well known in the family for her ribald personality and always telling dirty jokes) was actually notified by the Navy and told that my grandfather was lost at sea. But he was alive and well, frolicking with my grandmother on the boardwalk.

I have a beautiful photo of him in his sailor uniform, it is worn and faded and it's like he's marching off eternally. I liked my sailor mouthed, salty grandpa more than anyone else in the world.